When I started my final year of high school, I told myself that I would not actively seek out a relationship. Mainly because I wanted to avoid the tears and heartbreak that would come when the school year ended. Everyone always talks about the difficulties of an LDR, especially during University, when your supposed to be out there, trying to new things, meeting new people 😉 . They say it won’t last, that it will be over within a year and then your fucked. Everyone at Uni has already got a new girl/boy friend and your out there all by yourself. Alone.
So of course, I ignored my own advice and got a girlfriend.
Statistically speaking; I’m an engineer after all, this was an awful decision. Most LDR’s end after 4.5 months, and 40% of LDR’s end in a breakup. This data was taken from this website, which surveyed people in the United States.
When I started University back in October 2015, my girlfriend was on a 6 month break. Australian Universities have different term dates to the ones in the United Kingdom, since their in the southern hemisphere. So their term starts in February and ends in November, when they have their “Summer” break. So she stayed with her parents in Indonesia where her dad works until she would go to University in Melbourne.
This meant that she was at home with a lot of free time, allowing us to Skype. A lot. I would come home from class and call her instantly and just leave the call on even when she slept. She stayed up, consistently, so that we could spend some time together online. Eventually her sleeping pattern shifted so she slept at 2-3AM and woke up at noon everyday, just so she could skype me before I went to class at 8AM GMT.
That’s dedication right there, and thinking about it and typing it up in this post makes me realize how much she cares about me, and how much she missed me in order to do this every single day for 6 months.
We spent Christmas together in Indonesia, I flew over during my 3 week break and stayed with her and her parents. I’ll post about this another time, but in short, it was the best holiday I had been on. Ever.
Now, she’s starting University. My girlfriend is Australian, and will attend a University in Australia. Melbourne to be precise. GMT +11. I on the other hand, currently attend University in London, the UK. Depressing right? An 11 hour difference. That means when I wake up to go to the gym in the morning at 5.45AM, she will be just coming back from class.
I’m excited for her, she got into the degree she wanted to, and she’s so happy about it. I want her to do well. I remember when she first told me I was sleeping but the moment I heard, I was wide awake. I want her to succeed and I want to watch her grow. But why do I have this empty feeling inside of me?
I realize that everything is going to change. We won’t be able to skype each other as much. She’s going to be busy with her own classes and activities. She’s going to meet new people and make new friends. There’s going to be at least 1 buff Aussie dude hitting on her (Aussie dudes are always ripped as hell, like there’s something about Australia, like an aura of gains or something. Man I wish I lived there so I could get that shredded).
I’ve never been a jealous boyfriend, I was always chilled out about her having guy friends but for some reason this started to bother me. Like I’m afraid she will do something. And then it all ends. And I’m here all alone and since University has been going on for quite a while for me, I’ll be out here. Alone.
But how is her going to University any different to me going to University? I’m sure she was worried when I first went off to England. Would I meet another girl and forget about her? Would I cheat on her? No. I’m pretty sure she didn’t think any of these things because she has faith in me. She never doubted me, so why should I doubt her?
So at the end of the day, I need to have faith in her, in our relationship, and I need to believe that we will make it. I also need to try as hard, perhaps even harder than she did during her 6 month break. I need to make an effort to spend time with her. So here is what I will do:
- Wake up early, 5.45AM and go to the gym. When I get back, she should be home from class and call her for 2 hours until I go to class (Sigh.. 9AM lectures).
- During the day, she will be asleep, but send her pictures of what i’m doing.
- When I get home from class at 5-6pm, call her on skype. She will probably still be sleeping but watching her sleep is better than nothing.
- When she wakes up to get ready, talk and make the most of the time we have.
- Get work done and go to sleep by 11pm since I need to gym in the morning (lmao)
Hopefully, by doing this, we can make it
University is about trying new things, meeting new people. People change, but I made this post in order to clear my mind and set things straight. At the end of the day, if shit hits the fan, all we can do is be philosophical about it. That’s life. But what you can’t do is let it ruin your day, because your worried that shit might hit the fan.
Statistically speaking, 60% of LDRs succeed, that’s a majority. I’m an engineer, I like numbers. But I believe in our relationship more than I believe in figures.